When setting goals, the majority of my clients have a goal that in essence is about boosting their confidence. Whether that be in their career, relationships or life in general; they all seek to feel more self-confident.

Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of faith or trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement. Most of us recognise self-confidence as having a good sense of self, an understanding of our values and what is important to us, and believing in ourselves.

Here are answers to the questions I am regularly asked.

Why is self-confidence important?

Mostly because of lack of confidence deeply affects the way we feel. We are convinced when we have low confidence that we can’t do things. We doubt our abilities, feel uncertain, and generally shy away from opportunities.

And so when you are lacking in self-confidence, you may avoid accepting invitations, even when they could be a great career opportunity. When we lack confidence, we refrain from offering our opinion or expertise in meetings where we could have had valuable input. When we lack self-confidence we don’t always value ourselves, our contribution or our time.

And none of these feel great.

What prevents us from feeling self-confident?

Often it is our critical inner voice that is busy working hard, whispering to us all the terrible things that will happen if we speak up, or worse, when we inevitably stuff up whatever activity we are attempting or considering.

That voice is not our friend.

And yet when we are in the midst of feeling a deep lack of confidence, we assume that our inner voice is sharing facts with us. Nope. In 99% of the time, the inner voice is sharing assumptions, and more often than not, these assumptions are completely false.

Can’t I ‘fake it ‘til I make it’?

Many of the clients I work with and speak to, initially approach boosting their confidence with a ‘just do it’ or ‘fake it till you make it’ approach. They have perfected the art of gritting their teeth and just getting on with it; whether it be attending a networking event, doing a presentation or speaking up in a meeting. And absolutely, that can work! I’ve used this approach myself many times.

But wouldn’t it be great if you could do these things without enormous angst, and enjoy the process, perhaps even look forward to it?

So without further ado, here are my 6 tips for boosting your self-confidence.

6 Tips for boosting your self-confidence

1. Be grateful

Scientific research has consistently proven that being grateful and expressing gratitude is a major contributor to well-being and self-confidence. Developing our self-confidence - establishing a good sense of self, understanding our values and what is important to us, and believing in ourselves - is what manifests as resilience. Scientific research suggests that people who are grateful and practice regular gratitude, can look back on previous traumatic experiences and find more reasons to be grateful for the experience. They show greater resilience, and the ability to remain positive in spite of their experiences.

In essence, gratitude helps us take care of the emotional business in our lives, and contributes to our resilience and self-confidence.

2. Expand your comfort zone

The benefits from stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zone last longer than the activity itself. Moving beyond your comfort zone needn’t involve a bucket list style activity, but should support you to feel (gently) challenged, develop, learn and grow in your career and/or life. The sense of achievement, satisfaction and increase in your confidence that comes with doing something that you previously thought was beyond you is well worth a short-term stretch.

3. Take the 2-2-2 test

Worrying, and ‘analysis paralysis’ can be a massive drain on our sense of self-confidence. There are many different approaches to overcoming anxiety or worry. One of my current favourites which is quick and easy is the 2-2-2 test. It’s very simple and can be utilised at any time when you need to temporarily step back from a situation or decision, in order to move confidently forward.

The 2-2-2 test can be modified according to the decision or situation you are in. However, the general idea is answering the following 3 questions to help gain perspective and increase clarity around the situation/decision.

Will I be worried about this situation/decision in two hours-time?
Will this still be important in two weeks-time?
Will this matter in two months-time?

You can vary the timeframes according to the nature of the situation or decision. For you it may be two days, two months and two years. Invariably however, this approach helps to put things into perspective and allows you to move forward with confidence, knowing you do not need to be paralysed by anxiety, worry or over-analysing the situation or decision.

4. Give back

Do something for someone else! Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings or experiences of another by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation.

Empathy can be put into action by giving back. When we help out others or do something for someone else, this can be empathy in action. By doing some charity work, helping an elderly neighbour or just putting someone else first, you boost your sense of well-being which in-turn boosts your self-confidence.

5. Admit to mistakes

We teach our children it’s okay to make mistakes, as long we admit them and learn from them. Yet for adults, this can be very uncomfortable.

For adults and children alike, our behaviour can influence how confident we feel. Particularly when we are aware that perhaps our behaviour in a certain situation was not as ideal as we would prefer. Or, where we made a mistake.

As a result, our sense of self and thus our confidence, can feel diminished.

In these situations (which are far more common than most of us would care to admit!), a tip for building your confidence back up is to openly admit when you made a mistake or your behaviour has not been as good as you’d have hoped.

Admit to the mistake or less-than-ideal behaviour, then go back, and sort it out.

Remember, our behaviour is not who we are. Acknowledging and remedying the situation goes a long way to repairing our sense of self-confidence.

6. Embrace opportunities for joy and fun

We all know that feeling of pure joy, and if we are lucky, we have experienced it in our lives. Undertaking activities that make us feel good, is a great way to boost your confidence. Particularly if you do it regularly! Even better, if the activity plays to your strengths or gets you in the space of flow, you will have the added benefits of boosting your overall wellbeing, sense of happiness as well as increasing your confidence.

And that wraps up my confidence boosting tips! I’d encourage you to give them a try and see how work for you.

Need a bigger boost to your confidence than these tips can provide?

Through the coaching services I provide, I support women and men to feel clear and confident in their career and life, and would love to support you too. Simply book your 30-minute complimentary consult with me (via the blue button below) to learn how coaching with me could be the right next step for you to boost your confidence.

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