During times of grief, loss and major life transition, self-care is not just Okay, it’s imperative.
Self care is something I’ve written about many times, as it is an area so many of us struggle with. As a reminder, self-care is all about taking time to look after ourselves and our needs. Many women, and mothers in particular, feel that self-care is something for ‘later’, or ‘when we get to it’. But during times of major change, transition or loss, we realise that caring for ourselves is not for later. It’s for now.
We need to prioritise caring for ourselves in order to care for others.
If you are still not convinced, here are my top seven reasons why caring your self is a good idea. Continue reading
There can be times in our lives when we find ourselves jumping too soon after experiencing a major life transition.
So often, when one experience ends or door closes, we feel like the next door must open immediately. This is shown particularly in the eagerness with which we jump into the next thing after living through a big change in our lives.
But often the door that is apparently closing, hasn’t really closed at all! In our efforts to move onto the next thing, we ignore the fact that the door is still ajar. We try to move on past the fact that there is more work to be done before we are truly ready to step into the next thing. Continue reading
“I need a break!”
This is a common feeling when we are in the midst of change.
During times of significant change and transition, and more importantly, after them, we can find ourselves feeling one of two ways. Either full of renewed energy and vigour for our ‘new’ life; or utterly, bone-wearily exhausted.
Both experiences are normal.
As someone who has been through many transitions in my life, including a number of major life changes within in the last year or two, I am very familiar with both feelings.
This time of year is review season in the corporate world, and for many of us, even if we are not part of the corporate world, it’s timely to consider a mid-year review of our own too.
If like me, you feel the year has been slipping past because you’ve been so busy, it might be time to pause and reflect. This time of year is an ideal time to do this. With the first six months of the year behind us, now is a good time to look back on the goals we set for the year and to consider how we are progressing towards them.
It’s okay to write, despite the more common approach these days to type, and not record things in longhand.
Writing in longhand, that is, hand-writing, connects us to our true feelings and emotions. Given it is a slower, more considered format than typing (or dictating), writing longhand can help us to channel what we are deeply, truly feeling and experiencing.
This is particularly the case if we are writing during or after a grief or transition period.
Pre-grief is also called anticipatory grief. It essentially means having a grief reaction before the loss has actually occurred.
Pre-grief is the sadness we feel when we experience the passing of time with our loved ones. People who were once so vibrant and full of life, become vague, forgetful and /or their senses fail them (eyesight, hearing). They are still with us, yet not the same. And so we experience a sense of grief for the person they were and who they no longer seem to be. That person who is now lost to us, yet physically they are still here.
We mourn and miss the person they were, whilst they are still alive.
Pre-grief feelings of pain and loss can also come about from imagining what life will be like without our loved one. This is particularly the case when our loved one is sick or dying.
We can experience pre-grief in many different relationships. A grandparent, an elderly friend, your own parent or even your child – can all trigger pre-grief.
When we are feeling overwhelmed by life, taking time to celebrate can be the furthest thing from our thoughts.
During significant transitions, at our peak parenting times (when our children need us the most), or simply when life is hectic and we are literally running from activity to task and back again; life can feel overwhelming. It’s at these times when the busy-ness of life and our commitments can feel too much.
This is when it’s okay to celebrate.
Welcome to the ‘Upset to Set-Up’ Series: Interviews with Inspiring Women
This quarterly interview series shines a spotlight on inspiring women and shares their stories of resilience in the face of upset. Here we interview women who have overcome significant tragedy, loss or upset and used that experience to set themselves up in a new and different way. They have turned their upset into a set-up. Each guest generously shares what they have been through to find the joy in life.
Today we meet Jodie Matthews.
Jodie is mother to Hamish, a qualified CPA (Certified Practising Accountant) and life coach as well as a meditation teacher.
Bringing her many talents together, Jodie is passionate about empowering women around self-worth and money.
Her love for Hamish led her to write a daily blog, which shares her grief journey. She has also written a book on ‘Navigating Baby Loss’. The book shares her story of dealing with the loss of Hamish and stories of seven mothers whom have also experienced loss.
Jodie is an inspiring woman and mother, and I know you will enjoy this interview with her as much as I did.
The term self-care gets bandied around a lot. I too am guilty of talking about self-care, and have written a few previous posts about self-care for mothers and why it’s valuable and necessary. And whilst it’s a concept with increasing usage, that doesn’t diminish it’s importance.
Self-care is especially important when we are going through a time of significant change. Whether the change was wanted or unwanted, the need for self-care and self-compassion at these times is crucial.
However, when we are not experiencing significant transition, self-care and making time for what that entails, can feel like effort we cannot justify. As busy mothers we can find lit self-care is a low priority. One of our most popular excuse is we just don’t have time. However, daily self-care need not require a large time commitment.
We each have strengths. There are personality strengths, physical strength, spiritual strength and so on.
I want to talk about the strengths, or talents, that help make us who we are. The skills, abilities and talents, that when we are operating within them, bring us enormous joy in our life, a sense of purpose and satisfaction.